02 July 2010
Dan Beebe: Okay everybody, let’s get down to business. We had a great year last year, Texas made it to the BCS National Title Game and other things happened!
DeLoss Dodds: YEEEEEEEE-FUCKING-HAAAWWWW PEOPLE!
: Right. We should all celebrate. Right now.
Tom Osborne: Goddammit Dodds, it’s not like you won the damn thing or anything.
: Just like how your Huskers couldn’t beat my Longhorns in the Big XII Title Game?
: Damn you, Dodds.
: Fantastic. Please, everybody help yourselves to some donuts.
Mike Alden: Can we get on with this, please?
: Right, but only if you thank Texas for being awesome.
: That’s not going to happen, Dan.
: Fine, no donuts for you.
Tom Osborne opens the box of donuts
: What the hell is this, Dan?
: YOU JUST GOT ICED, BITCH!
: What in the god damned hell are you talking about?
: You know, you just got iced now you have to drink.
Mike Bohn: Bro, you gotta get down on one knee and chug that shit or lose total brospect.
: BROSPECT! Do it old man!
: I will do no such thing!
: Well, you could counter-ice him if you have one handy.
: Now why in the hell would a grown man carry around a god damned bottle of Smirnoff Ice?
: To counter-ice, obviously.
: This is ridiculous, I refuse to participate in such insanity.
: You have to! Do it or you’re out of the conference!
: Fine! The Big 10’s been calling me all day looking to bring the Big Red on. Good day gentlemen. I’ll see one of you at the Dallas Football Classic and the rest of you in hell!
Tom Osborne leaves.
: Oh shit, you can just leave like that? Well fuck you guys I’m going to the Pac-10! So illllllll.
Mike Bohn leaves.
: Oh godammit Dan, now look what you’ve done.
: Bro should have accepted his icing like a man.